Collectively Wise

Lives and Jobs on Hold: After a Sister's Stroke

My older sister had a major hemorrhagic stroke on January 8, 2009 and was hospitalized for almost a month in intensive care and a rehabilitative hospital.

My daughter and I found her in her home and I did neurological checks and determined that she needed to go to the hospital emergency room immediately. She was reluctant to go but finally agreed when my daughter and I insisted. Within 20 minutes of arriving at the emergency room, the doctors diagnosed her stroke and placed her in the intensive care unit for about a week.

Because of her arterial bleed in the brain, she had intensive physical, occupational and speech therapy in the rehabilitation hospital and this care followed her home. My daughter and I initially felt relieved and blessed that my sister was alive when we found her in her home after not hearing from her for almost 3 days. We were also grateful that she was recovering when they upgraded her condition and she went to a telemetry unit and finally to a rehabilitation hospital.

But, from the time of the stroke and her hospitalization, my daughter and I had to put our lives and jobs on hold and attend to my sister’s personal and business affairs. I became her temporary power of attorney, we had to clear out and clean her townhouse apartment within the month of January in order to save her from additional rental charges.

Family Caregiving in Egypt

[Anonymous Guest Post]

I would like to share my experience with my both grandmother and grandfather.

I live in Egypt ( male 32 years old)which is a nice country by the way. I live in a city that is on the sea shore directly. I find it dramatically that the weather here is almost fine all the year. About caring of my grand mother and my grand father, it was a hell of experience.

First of all lets talk about my grandmother. She had never went to a doctor in her early life, but later when she got older she began to suffer from diabeted milletus which is a disorder of glucose metabolism that lead to hyperglycemia due to lack or resistance of insulin in the body. This disease need treatment with either insulin or oral hypoglycemic to decrease the rising blood sugar. In our country we call is in or language "sugar", this name refers to the pathology of the disease.

She Had Alzheimer's, So They Say (Part 2 of 2)

[Anonymous Guest Post]

Since both our names were on my mother's banking stuff, we both had to sign for anything. But in order to do that, after my mother was admitted to the hospital, one of us had to have power of attorney. Reluctantly, since my sister had a car, I allowed her to be the one. We got the necessary paperwork from an attorney I knew; took it to the hospital, and convinced my mother, somehow, to sign it. We simply told her the truth - that we needed access to her money and the ability to sign for her since she no longer could.

My mother still couldn't remember how to write her name, so my sister "guided" her hand. We had it witnessed by a nurse. Done. It was then notarized, and taken back to the attorney. My sister now had power of attorney. Next step, the bank. If my mother had any money of her own, that would have gone first to her care at the assisted living center before medicare would kick in. So we did the only, according to my sister, that is, logical thing. We withdrew every cent and divided it among us. We each got about six thousand dollars. Or seven, I forget. My sister was estactic.

She Had Alzheimer's, So They Say (Part 1 of 2)

[Anonymous Guest Post]

Nine years ago it became obvious my mother could no longer care for herself. The signs had been coming for some time. She had alzheimer's, supposedly. At least that's what we thought, and what her doctor diagnosed her with.

A few years before she started taking medication for it we had taken her on vacation with us to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. She went on the boardwalk to get some fries, and when she didn't return about fifteen minutes later I started to worry. From the beach I scanned the boardwalk. The Fry Place was right in front of our location. My mother stood there, looking around, as if she was not only lost, but unaware of where she was. That's when it started.

She moved into a senior apartment complex for those on limited incomes a few years after that. The apartment complex had security, a laundry room, and a community dining room and activity center. She was still functional at that time, able to shop, cook, and clean. But over time those abilities started to disappear. She would call me in the middle of the night and tell me she was sitting there alone, in the dark. And then silence.

He promised he would never put them in a nursing home.

[Anonymous Personal Story]

I am originally from Long Island, New York but in 2002 I moved to Seattle, Washington. When I turned 36 I met a man and knew I had finally found the “ONE”. But first we shared something in 2006 that made our relationship stronger. I began caring his terminally Father.

I had the rewarding experience of taking care of him in his final months with his body so riddled with cancer the only option was to make him as comfortable as possible. I do regret however, that I never knew him before he got sick because the strength he showed even in his final days would put most healthy people to shame,but he never once complained, not even on his worst days.

Diabetes, Stroke and Kidney Failure - In India

(anonymous guest post written by a man in India)

Every man and woman in this world has their own way of thinking whenever there is a crisis within the family or outside. And true nature of each individual will be revealed when he/she is exposed to an environment where there is hardly any money and plenty of work.

The story that I am a writing today is true, and through my personal experience from my family. My story is all about the impact of a medical condition that has partially ruined my entire family. This all started when my dad was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 40. I was only 10 years old when I learned of my dad’s disease. Being diabetic, he had developed other diseases that were associated with diabetes, like high blood pressure and poor vision. But it didn’t have much effect on the family.

At the age of 50 my dad was again hospitalized - due to a stroke. Fortunately, dad survived the stroke.  And from that day onwards extreme care was taken to his health. But, our actual struggle for survival started when he suffered chronic renal failure (CRF). CRF is a medical term meaning Kidney failure. Both of my dad’s kidneys failed and he was put on machine dialysis for several days. Doctors advised us to find someone from the family who can donate a kidney to my dad. But the medical expenditure for the transplant itself was too high and doctors weren’t very sure of the success of the transplant.

Young Caregiver Personal Story - Alzheimer's, Stroke

When I was 15 my father, who was 75, began showing signs of what we later found out, was Alzheimer's. He wasn't diagnosed until six years later. A few years after that his behavior became too much for my Mom to handle and so I became his guardian, at age 24. I decided that for his own safety that it would be best for him in care facility. It was a difficult choice but a necessary one. His Alzheimer's affected him more physically, then mentally. He wasn't happy in the 3 facilities I placed him in, but with the constant medical care he needed I had no choice. He lived to the ripe old age of 89, I was only 29. 

Around this time my Mother began showing behavior that I knew was not normal. Not only was she very erratic, but she was not caring for herself, the house and the pets propely and she was hoarding everything. I tried to talk to her doctors but they didn't really listen and she was so nasty to them they wanted no part of the situation. A year later, she had some type of small stroke or breakdown. I had to trick her and take her to the ER. She became violent and suicidal so luckily, as sad as this is to say, the doctors saw what I was dealing with and put her on a month long psych hold. At least I was finally able to get the help I was needing. She was a whole other ballgame than my Father. APS stepped in, concerned with my young age (I was 28), but approved for my becoming her Conservator, which means, she lost all legal rights and I was in charge of everything.