Collectively Wise

The Landmark Forum

[by Kirsten]

Last weekend I attended a self improvement seminar called "The Landmark Forum".  In their language, you might say that "I participated in the landmark forum."  Because of it, I honestly  feel changed for the better.  At the same time, I'm tired. Maybe from learning or from working hard or maybe because I feel energized and have been pouring my energy into my traditional work and into my primary relationships.  So, needless to say, I've been offline for a few days.

I'd like to describe the experience I had with the forum.  It's a funny organization in a number of ways.  Primarily, it is controversial because it's seen by some as a "cult".  I can't really speak to that since I don't know much about cults, but I find it hard to believe that this little program could be that.   I have read that the content has roots in the 70's "EST" movement, and I think I read that it's been outlawed in some countries.  Admittedly, there is a strong sales element to the workshop, and that it involves the recruitment of family and friends.

Stepping up to take responsibility, a young man helps his family

[Anonymous Personal Story]

I am living in India. I am 20 years old. I am the elder of my family with two brothers. So, i have the responsibilities to take care my house. In the last 4 years i had many experiences with my families that i took care.

In september 27th before the couple of weeks i had a heart breaking experience with my Grandfather. Already he had a Blood pressure and sugar problems and also he was very sick on that day. After We finished our dinner we slept in the night. In the mid-night there was a big sound I heard, suddenly we got up. Really I did not get up. My mother only called me because I have so tired on the day of my works in my company.

Self-Care and Recovery after Sexual Assault

[Anonymous Guest Post]

When I graduated from school, I moved to a new city for work. A couple weeks after arriving I went out on a date with a guy I had just met.  He took me to dinner and to a dance club.  I was happy to go because I didn't know anyone else in the area, hadn't been downtown yet and it sounded like fun. After a while at the club, I agreed to go to his apartment to hang out instead of going to another club with another cover charge.

I was alarmed to see how bad of a neighborhood it was in, and I didn't really know where I was, so when things got ugly, later, I was worried about running out into the streets.  Needless to say, what I experienced was almost classic date rape. I tried to talk him out of forcing me and I hit him and pushed him away, but chose to submit, rather than getting into a violent, losing fight, simply because I figured it was the safest way back to my apartment.

The Healing Power of Song

[by Joanne Reynolds]

When my grandmother was dying from pneumonia brought on by her acute Parkinson’s Disease, I sang to her. I did it because it seemed to sooth her and it made me feel better.

It turns out that singing is really good for us, so it makes sense for caregivers and patients to sing together, whether or not the patient is dying.

There have been a handful of really good books written recently on the subject of our brains and how we process and perform music. One author, Robert Jourdain in Music, the Brain and Ecstasy says that singing moves us out of our “mental wheel chairs.” If that’s the case, then why not sing together?

Before we get to the actual singing part, let me tell you a bit about what happens to us physically when we sing.

A Perspective on Prayer and Recovery (in Hinduism)

This is about My friend's son. He is just 6 years old. Let me introduce myself first, my name Rikesh. I live in a small town in India.

My friend's name is Mithun. He is married to his wife for 8 years now. After their marriage they first (had a) son in the year 2004.They kept his name Krishna, which is the name of Hindu God. He is so loving, cute n sweet. I use to visit them quite often.

Everything was going just fine (but) then one day Krishna fall sick all of sudden. Fever kept coming continuously for three days. Every one was worried they took him to doctor but it did not help. When I landed up to their place to see them, I was shocked to see his condition. I referred them a doctor who is my friend, Dr. Sudhir. He is child specialist .We went to see him same day then he advised us to admit Krishna in the hospital.  On hearing that, my friend's wife started crying. We consoled her everything will be fine.

Visualize Success

[Guest Post Provided by Dr. Fred Luskin]

Here's a simple experiment that anyone can practice to experience first hand how our ability to visualize affects us physically.

Right now imagine yourself in your kitchen standing over a cutting board. You have in front of you a knife and a basket of delicious fruit. From that bowl select a beautiful orange, fragrant and heavy with juice, and place it on the cutting board. Notice the brightness of its orange color and the familiar texture of its rind. Then slowly cut the orange in half, and then into quarters. Notice the difference in color and texture between the cut surfaces and the peel. In your mind see yourself pick up one piece and slowly raise it to your mouth. Notice how you anticipate the taste - how familiar is the fragrance. Then picture yourself biting into the orange to capture its sweetness.

Most people feel an actual release of saliva from the back of their cheeks. If thinking about a juicy orange for even a few seconds, makes you salivate, what happens when you think of or see yourself as stressed out for hours, days, weeks, and even months on end? It is obvious that seeing those negative images in your mind has a detrimental physical effect on your body. This effect occurs through the same pathways as imaging the orange allowed your body to generate saliva.

Margaret Sanger - Controversial Birth Control Advocate

I've just started reading a book about Margaret Sanger for my book club.  I haven't read it through yet, and frankly hadn't heard of her before. But I do consider myself to be a feminist (of sort, particularly about reproductive rights), so I thought she must be someone to admire.  

After a quick review though, she seems to be quite controversial.  Apparently, in addition to being a supporter of birth control (the pill specifically), she was also an advocate of eugenics - which is "selective breeding", and was reported to be quite a racist.

Any thoughts about her?  What should I look for as I read her biography?

Kirsten

Teaching my Daughter Self-Care

Today was a hard day.  Not in a life or death kind of way, but in the way that kids can be deeply hurt. And that's a call to action for any mom.

Today my daughter was rejected by a sports team; not one she was just trying out for, but one she'd been playing with for years.  It was unexpected.

I thought I had the expectations clear.  The girls who were going to be cut, had already been notified and my daughter was safe for the next half season.  She was in.  She agreed to try harder and to do her best.

But yesterday, the coach was not pleased.  My daughter complained of an injury and our family vacation was during the summer team camp.  He was convinced that she was not committed, and that her efforts would not move the team forward.

I came home from work early to break the news.

Common Ground

As a parent, it is imperative to connect with your children in a multitude of ways.  Sometimes, I get a little lackadaisical.  I become unaware of our non-connectedness.  But, then, something happens...either by their doing, my doing, or by intervention from heaven above that draws us back together and we stand on common ground. 

My middle child, Sage, has had a "thing" for coffee since before she could walk.  I remember having a square coffee table in our living room.  It had four glass pieces framed to give off the appearance of a window.  I have always woken up to 2 cups of coffee since becoming an adult and my taste for coffee was developed early on in life when I would sip on the leftover chilled coffee my dad would make.  In an effort to indulge my continued habit and not risk burning injury, I would put my coffee cup in the center of the coffee table as I would relax in the morning and watch my young ones play.  Sage had an army crawl and didn't begin walking until she was roughly a year old.  Around the age of 9 months, I watched her army crawl over to the coffee table, pull herself up, grab for the cup of lukewarm (the only reason I did not stop her) coffee, pull it close by the handle, pick it up and proceed to sip from it.  She was a natural!  I don't allow Sage to have coffee often.  When I do it is usually just a smidgen in a cup, complete with cream and sugar.  Just this passed weekend she and I made a run for some household necessities.  As we were leaving the little town we were in, she asked me (after reading the sign at McDonald's) what a Carmel Frappe was.  So we went to check it out together.  Her eyes lit up with excitement when I handed her a small & I took my medium.  We chatted all the way home.  We stood on common ground.

Emotional Well Being

Your own emotional health can have a significant impact on family and friends. If you feel well, or not, it's contagious!

How can you increase self awareness, and then take action?

Your emotional health can be affected by many factors. Of course, stress or sadness, or illness or anger can make things difficult. Sometimes, mood can be a function of more subtle things, like diet, or exercise or even the weather. Or maybe you've been affected by someone else, and caught their bad mood!

Serious and diagnosable ailments such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, substance abuse or other issues,require the help and intervention of medical or mental health professionals.

But many bad moods or bad days can be cured at home.

What are your tricks?  How do you recognize in yourself that you aren't feeling well emotionally?  What do you do to snap out of it?

• Connect with friends? 
• Take a break, with a bath, a massage or just a few minutes of silence?
• Exercise, yoga or a hike in a beautiful place?
• Indulge yourself with chocolate, a glass of wine, flowers or new shoes?
• Enjoy humor or spirituality?

How are you caring for your own emotional well-being?