Collectively Wise

Getting Ready to Handle Disaster

[by Joanne Reynolds] The earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster unfolding in Japan have featured news coverage that must tug at the heartstrings of every caregiver—the elderly people in care facilities who are unable to leave because of the contamination and have run out of medications.

No one wants to see their loved one in a circumstance like that. As a caregiver, you need to be prepared for a disaster, whether your loved one is living independently, with you or in a care facility. The Red Cross has an excellent booklet on disaster planning for seniors (“Disaster Preparedness for Seniors by Seniors”) that was created in the wake of an enormous blizzard in upstate New York in 2003. I strongly recommend that you get and use this book, whether or not you’re caring for an elderly loved one. It’s full of good advice for all of us.

What to Do About Mom and Dad

[by Joanne Reynolds]

Recently, ABC World News with Diane Sawyer focused on caregiving issues as part of its on-going series “Families on the Brink.” Entitled “What to Do About Mom and Dad,” the segments looked briefly at a wide variety of issues facing caregivers of aging parents.

I’m sharing a summary of it here for those of you who may have missed it, and for those of you who are in other caregiving circumstances. Some of what was broadcast applies to all caregiving. If you’d like to see more, visit www.abcnews.com/wn .
The first segment featured a round table discussion between author Virginia Morris (How to Care for Aging Parents), geriatricians Dr. Marie Bernard and Dr. Neil Resnick, and Martha Stewart, the lifestyle maven who has founded the Martha Stewart Center for Living, a senior health care center within Mt. Sinai Medical Center in New York City.

They concluded that conversations with your parents about aging, care and end-of-life issues has to be started early, before there’s a crisis. Ask these types of questions and listen, carefully, to the answers:

• What are you concerned about?
• What are you afraid of?
• What do you hope for?

Safety and your Patient

  [By Joanne Reynolds]

Mary posted a question to an on-line caregiver group that I want to share with all of you:

How do I keep my parent, who’s suffering from dementia, safe while I’m at work?

Here are some suggestions which may apply work equally to elderly loved ones as dementia patients. They are from the Alzheimer’s Association publication, Staying Safe:

Be sure to have working fire extinguishers, smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors in the house. Test them regularly.

If you are out of the home during the day, use appliances with an auto shut-off feature, such as coffee pots.

The Dangerous Times We Live In? According to the "Paranoid Parents Guide" and NPR...

[By Adrienne]

I read an NPR Health blog post last week that made me feel slightly vindicated about the freedoms my husband and I give my stepkids. It turns out we may not be the reckless parents my stepmother made us out to be.

In a conversation a couple of weeks ago, I made a passing comment about my stepdaughter going down to the library by herself on her scooter. I got lecture on the dangerous times we live in, kidnapping, etc. I resented the implication that we were negligent parents, but kept my mouth shut.

Later that night, I repeated the conversation to my husband to get his take on it. He’s usually more of an alarmist than I am, but we both agreed that my stepmother’s fear of kidnapping was out of whack with reality. It turns out we’re right.

According to the NPR post, Christine Barnes, author of “The Paranoid Parents Guide”, the top 5 fears of parents are:

1. Kidnapping
2. School snipers
3. Terrorists
4. Dangerous strangers
5. Drugs

The top 5 REAL ways kids are hurt or killed:

The Driving Thing - As a caregiver, what can you do when it may not be a good idea anymore?

Three women waited patiently for their respective turns to talk to me following a workshop this summer. As it turns out all three had the same dilemma-- what to do, if anything, about taking the car keys away from aging parents.

• For one, it wasn’t the fact that her Dad was coming up on his 99th birthday and still driving. It was that she felt her Mom was asking him to “drive more than he should.”
• For another, it was the emotional issue of role-reversal in taking away Mom’s driving privileges—the child becoming the parent.
• For the last one there was no doubt or hesitation about what needed to be done, her question was how to do it.

This is one of the questions I hear regularly in my workshops as I travel around the country. It’s a tough one to solve because there is so much emotional power tied up in the independence of being able to drive. The issue is further complicated when the person in question lives in an area where public transportation isn’t good.

If this is your caregiving dilemma, it may help you to pull the problem apart into bite-sized pieces:

First step—determine if your parent’s driving is hazardous.

Driving Safety

SELF-ish:  Taking Better Care of Yourself and Others

SELF-ish is an interactive magazine dedicated to the sandwich generation, those of us exposed to taking care of both children and parents.  The work of raising children, elder care and caregiving in general is incredibly important.  Often, caregivers neglect their own health because they are too busy with other priorities, which is not good! Caregiving can be a life's work, full of reward, joy and heartache.  __________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Friends,

It is my hope to bring together a community of real-life experts, who will share what they already know, and then turn to unfamiliar topics to learn for themselves.  The work we do as caregivers can be very difficult, but it can also be the most important thing one can ever do.

Consider this:  Who do you think has the greatest impact on the future health of a normal, healthy child, their mother or their doctor? 

Let's help each other do the best we can and - enjoy it too!

Sincerely,

Kirsten, Editor

P.S.  Please help build this community by commenting on everything you have an opinion about.  What was your experience?  What do you think is the best approach?  You can comment anonymously, so don't hesitate!

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See how the Navigation Bar has been re-organized to make all topics easily visible.  Click on self, kids or parents above. __________________________________________________________________________________________

THIS WEEK: DRIVING

What is the best approach for teaching your teens to drive?  What rules are most appropriate?  How do you keep them safe?  JOIN THE CONVERSATION

How do you get everyone where they need to be without spending all day on the road?  Is it time to get glasses for driving at night?  JOIN THE CONVERSATION

When is it time to stop driving?  Is there a particular age, or is there a test or particular physical limitations to watch for?  JOIN THE CONVERSATION

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Focus on Giving

Reliable transportation would significantly improve the operation of Papa's House.

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Shopping

Shop for fun, for gifts or for supplies.

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Next Week:  Ignore your teeth and they'll go away (Oral Health)