Collectively Wise

The Muting of the World

I found true peace lying in a swimming pool with my face to the sun. After 2 hours of jumping and splashing with Mommy, Daddy, and Pa, both boys decided to follow the men in for lunch. I was left in an utterly rare state - completely alone.

I lay there on my back with a noodle under my knees and another under my head and shoulders with my ears submerged in the water. All I could hear was the sploshing of the water. I closed my eyes and focused on that sound - splosh, splosh, splosh - in aquatic meditation. I don't know how long I lay there or where the time went, but when I looked up I found my husband and son eagerly staring at me saying that they had been calling me for a while.

Now, the goal of meditation is usually restfulness, focus, sometimes contemplation and clarity, but not generally sleep. But the fact that I, who suffered years of insomnia in the past, who is awakened by any child-like stirring, who sometimes still lies awake for an hour for no appearent reason, was able to fall asleep outside in the water says something. Okay, it does say something about just how tired I am. But, it also says something about the power of near silence.

"To Sleep...Perchance to Dream"

I recently read an article that stated that Americans spent more time sleeping this past year than in previous years. The author cited an average of 8.25 hours of sleep per night. I don't know about you, but I don't know any parents of young children who get 8 hours (or more!) of sleep.

In fact, many of us are essentially chronically sleep deprived. Boy, do I know sleep deprivation. We are long-time pals. After finally managing an extended bout of stress-induced insomnia, my husband and I took the next natural step in our lives - we got pregnant. So, I went through pregnacy excitement insomnia, pregnancy anxiety insomnia, and pregnancy discomfort insomnia followed by 2 years of night waking and night terrors. Just as my big boy's sleep finally stabilized, I got pregnant and started the whole process over again.

Mommy Guilt: The Epidemic

I recently did a Twitter search for "Mommy guilt" and was amazed at what I found. Mommy guilt is everywhere. It’s like a disease that we're all afflicted with - stay at home Moms (which is work, I know), work from home Moms, full-time working outside of the home Moms, part-time working outside of the home Moms, pregnant soon-to-be-Moms. None of us are immune.

Okay, so I work outside of the home and am basically gone from 8-6 five days a week. Of course I’m infected! I hate being away from my boys and I feel awful missing the daily antics as well as the important milestones. And on the mornings when my oldest refuses to let go of me as I hug him goodbye I feel a knife twisting in my heart. And yes, there are days like the day that I was off last year and I picked him up from pre-school. The fact that the teacher asked me who I was there for (we HAD met a few months before) still haunts my parenting nightmares.

Introducing Michele Downie and Emily Paster

Please welcome these two new authors to our site. Look for posts they've written to publish over the next couple of days. It's great to have their input as they are both impressive (formally and informally) experts about the topics they touch on!

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Michele Downie is a licensed psychologist and a Mom of two wonderful boys. She work full-time in Philly and has a part-time private practice in Media, PA. She has many years of experience working with women, including running women's groups. Her goal is to help women take care of themselves as well as they take care of others. Check out her new blog: The Women's Self-Care Therapist (thewomensself-caretherapist.blogspot.com) for ongoing discussion of the many self-care challenges that we all face. You can learn more about Michele as a therapist at her website (www.downietherapy.com).

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Emily Paster is a Washington DC native now living in the near west suburbs of Chicago. A lawyer by training, she works part-time teaching at a local law school and spends most of her time taking care of her family and volunteering in her community. Emily and her husband have a daughter who is in second grade and a three-year-old son. Emily’s daughter has many food allergies, which can make birthday parties, school lunches and dining out a challenge, but she strives to keep her daughter’s life pretty normal and even fun. Emily’s son does not appear to have any allergies, just a profound aversion to the word "no."

Emily’s tastes range from the serious to the frivolous. She subscribes to US Weekly and The New Yorker. She follows politics, theater, movies, television, fashion and pop culture. That doesn’t mean she actually goes to the theater or dresses fashionably, of course. Emily loves to cook more than almost anything else and she recently became an avid canner; but she doesn't garden and she barely decorates. You can read Emily’s thoughts on all these topics and whatever else comes to mind at her personal blog West of the Loop.