Making Life Possible for Truly Independent Single Parents

[by Kirsten]

Initiative Mission Statement:

In the United States there are a number of cultural assumptions that form the basis of traditional family life that are typically unspoken.  Largely because of the acceptance of these assumptions, systems have been set up and maintained that are counter to the reality for many people.  It is assumed that people who do not fit these norms, are at fault and that they should change to fit the assumptions.

These assumptions include:

• Children are raised by families with 2 adults
• One or more of these adults has time available to take children to the doctor, dentist, teacher meetings and to help at the public schools during traditional business hours.
• If a family does not have time to contribute, it is assumed that they have money to compensate.

In reality, a large percentage of families do not have this luxury, flexibility or live in this manner.  The pressures of these assumptions contribute to un-employability of independent single parents, and to a dependency on welfare (or other people) in order to meet the (healthcare and educational) needs of themselves and their dependent children.

Definition: 
Independent:  without help, financially or via an informal village (ie childcare swaps).  For example, an independent person holds a job with sufficient income to pay all household expenses (rent, car, food, healthcare, insurance, fitness, enrichment, educational expenses, childcare, etc.), and with a schedule of hours and effort to allow for a healthy lifestyle and sufficient time and flexibility to accomplish necessary parenting and household tasks.

The mission of this initiative is to identify and work to change systemic and structural elements contributing to the impossibility of true independence for single parents.  These elements include, but are not limited to:  affordable daycare, irregular public school calendars, required mid-day parent teacher meetings, after-school care, medical appointment scheduling, the education of girls (and elements to support those same girls as they become working women and single mothers).

The US democratic system is based on a "survival of the fittest" philosophy, which is counter to this initiative.  These principles have a tendency to become socialistic in order to provide the support required.  Without it, the direct relationship between single mothers and poverty is reinforced, as is the need and tendency for women to rely on each other through informal social-emotional networks.

What do you think?

Comments

[Madhu]

You're going to hear so much more before you're thrugoh. I don't want to sound like one more negative comment but people just love giving advice. And people like to draw on their own personal experiences for it or what they've gathered from other people. I applaud your aim for a natural childbirth. I did it twice, so it can be done.When you're faced with people who are being less than encouraging, try to remind yourself that they are just reliving where they were. Thank them for the advice and their opinions. And then perhaps say something akin to, We're going to be as open to the possibilities as we can, but I'd like to or maybe, whatever happens happens. I'm just hoping that I can do it this way. When people are coming down on you about the courses and such, just tell them that you're aware that you might not use the things you learn, but you'd rather be over informed than under informed. This is a big thing for you! You're entering a beautiful stage in your life. Enjoy it, savour it, and share it. Just remember that you may have to remind some people that it's YOUR pregnancy and you're going to handle it the way you see fit. Was this answer helpful?

[Carlinho]

Hi Margherita,It's wonderful to hear from you esielpalcy all the way from Chile! I work directly with all of our bloggers that write for the Signature Moms blog. Please feel free to contact me at . I look forward to hearing from you!Ashley